The Adventures of Satan and Sable
by Sabaku no Sable
Summary: I have finally written a story. It took me forever to figure out how to put it up. oh well. Its up now. if this story causes any problems to your health then blame Nana and not me. Rated M cuz this site is crazy.
1. The Dangers of Eating Chocolate

AN: HEY PEOPLE! I have finally decided to write something. It makes no sense at all and I will probably confuse a lot of people.

WARNING: THIS IS COMPLETE CRACK! MAY CONTAIN SLASH, VIOLENCE, ANIME CHARACTERS BEING OOC AND WHATEVER ELSE POPS IN MY HEAD. IF INTERNAL BLEEDING OCCURS THEN DON'T BLAME ME!

Disclaimer: I dont own Death Note or Satan. I only own his soul.

* * *

The Dangers of Eating Chocolate

* * *

Sable: *munching on brownie*

Satan: What are you doing?

Sable: Eating chocolate brownies. What does it look like I'm doing?

Satan: But it is 7:29 AM. Why are you eating chocolate brownies this early?

Sable: Wanted to.

Satan: Okay. Have fun with that. *Walks away mumbling about human stupidity*

Sable: bye bye!

* * *

Sable: *munching a cookie*

Satan: Now what are you doing?

Sable: Eating chocolate chip cookies.

Satan: It is 9:34 AM. Why are you eating chocolate chip cookies.

Sable: I was hungry.

Satan: Okay. *****walks away*

Sable: why does he insist upon asking stupid questions. GEEZ!

* * *

Sable: *holding head*

Satan: Now what is wrong?

Sable: I ate my chocolate ice cream to fast.

Satan: If you keep eating all of this chocolate, you will turn into chocolate.

Sable: COOL! *headache forgotten* Then I could eat myself.

Satan: *sighs in exasperation* What if someone else ate you instead?

Sable: They wouldn't be able to catch me.

Satan: If you say so. *walks off*

* * *

Satan: WTF!

Sable: What?

Satan: YOU TURNED INTO CHOCOLATE!

Sable: I DID! SWEET! *starts to lick fingers*

Satan: THIS ISNT GOOD!

Sable: Yes it is. I am quite tasty. Want to try some? *holds out finger*

Satan: *sighs* I guess I am going to have to show you that it isn't good. *walks off*

Sable: *licking fingers*

Satan: *comes back with Mellow from Death Note* I told you there was a chocolate person.

Mellow: CHOCOLATE! *runs at Sable*

Sable: MY CHOCOLATE! *runs away*

Satan: *watches Mellow chase Sable* I warned her. No one ever listens to me.

Sable: *stops in front of him* Did you say something?

Satan: ARG!

Sable: *wrestling with Mellow* YOU SHALL NEVER GET MY CHOCOLATE!

Mellow: I NEED THE CHOCOLATE!

Sable: RAPE!

Mellow: *jumps off* I'm not raping you. I am trying to eat you.

Sable: *uses this time to run away and hide*

* * *

3 hours later

* * *

Sable: Where did Mellow go?

Satan: Lured him away with a truck of Hershey's bars. Where did the chocolate go?

Sable: I licked it all off. It was only a chocolate coating.

Satan: Whatever. Do you now know why you shouldn't eat so much chocolate?

Sable: *munching on a chocolate covered pretzel* What did you say?

Satan: ARG! *slams head on wall*


	2. The Dangers of Eating Chocolate 2

* * *

The Dangers of Chocolate 2

* * *

Sable: *piles chocolate in the middle of room*

Satan: What are you doing?

Sable: Remember when you told me that chocolate was dangerous?

Satan: Considering it was last week, yes.

Sable: Well, it made me want to do an experiment.

Satan: Should I be worried?

Sable: Maybe. *continues to pile chocolate in the middle of the room* Okay then. *puts a sign that says 'Free Chocolate' on pile*

Satan: What is exactly about to happen?

Sable: You'll see. *drags him across the room* FREE CHOCOLATE! *covers head*

* * *

Suddenly out of nowhere Remus Lupin from Harry Potter and Mellow from Death Note pop up.

* * *

Remus: MY CHOCOLATE! *jumps on pile*

Mellow: NO! MY CHOCOLATE! *jumps on pile*

Satan: *twitch twitch* WTF?! *sees Remus punch Mellow*

Sable: They are both obsessed with chocolate and I wanted to see who would win. *videotaping the entire thing*

Satan: And if they kill each other? *Remus is now sitting on Mellow*

Sable: They won't. *watches Mellow flip Remus off*

Satan: How do you know? *watches Remus have Mellow in a headlock*

Sable: I will stop them before it gets that far. *watches Mellow get out by biting Remus*

Satan: You might want to stop them soon. *Remus wraps his legs around Mellow's neck*

Sable: Why?

Satan: Mellow is turning blue. *and so Mellow was*

Sable: *sigh* Okay. *pops away*

Satan: *wonders if Mellow is going to die*

Sable: *pops back in with Near and Sirius*

Sirius: WTF! HOW DID I GET HERE!

Remus: Siri, what are you doing here.

Sirius: What are you doing?

Remus: This squirt tried to take my chocolate. *points at Mellow*

Sirius: *sighs* Remy, let the dude go.

Remus: Why should I?

Sirius: *sighs before walking over and whispering something in Remus's ear*

Remus: *blushes bright red before letting Mellow go*

Mellow: *tries to launch himself at Remus but was stopped by Near*

Near: Mellow, I need you to go with me to get some new toys. *walks off*

Mellow: Coming, Near! *dutifully follows his lover*

Sirius: Lets go do what I was talking about earlier. *walks off*

Remus: *blushes and chases after him*

Satan: *blink blink* What just happened?

Sable: The only thing those two love more than chocolate is his lover. *grabs a chocolate bar and walks off*

Satan: *sighs* Life was simpler in Hell. *goes to take a nap and try to forget that he is controlled by a crazy teenager*

* * *

AN: Poor Satan. Oh well.


	3. More Chocolate

More Chocolate

Satan: *walks into the room and sees people grouped in a circle* Wha- *that was as far as he got before Sable stood up. He had just now noticed she was part of the group*

Sable: Hello. My name is Sabaku no Sable and I have a chocophile.

Group of People: Hello Sable.

Satan: I am not even going to ask. *starts to walk away*

Sable: HEY SATAN! WHEN DID YOU GET HERE?! *she remained oblivious to the freaked out looks the people in the group were getting*

Some lady from the CA (chocophiles anonymous…at least it was anonymous): WHAT DO YOU MEAN SATAN?!

Sable: Yep. Satan is my homie! *throws arm around Satan's shoulder* Got a problem with it. *throws her a death glare that would scare Voldie into joining the light*

Group: Nope. *shaking their heads as fast as they could*

Satan: I do.

Sable: You don't love me. *sob sob*

Group: How could you be so cruel? *ladies from the group come over to comfort Sable*

Satan: I'm Satan. *giving them a DUH look*

Another Lady: That does give you the right to make women cry! * points at Sable who had quite crying and taken out a flamethrower*

Group looks at her in shock.

Sable: What? *hides flamethrower behind her back* I don't have a flamethrower.

Group: THEN WHAT IS THAT THING BEHIND YOUR BACK?!

Sable: Umm… *pulls fudge out of nowhere* LOOK FUDGE! *throws fudge into other room*

Group: FUDGE! *chases fudge*

Sable: That was close.

Satan: *stares at Sable* You are an idiot. *walks off*

Sable: HEY! *runs after him*

AN: This was short. Not even a full page but it just popped into my head and had to be written. Must Thank SeulWolfe for the term Chocophile. It has become one of my favorite things to say next to Shit Sticks. I read to many Fanfics. *sweat drop*


	4. More Chocolate Trouble

More Chocolate Trouble

Sable: *flipping pages in book*

Satan: What are you doing?

Sable: I found this magic book. I was trying to find some interesting spells. HOLY SHIT STICKS! *stopping on a random page*

Satan: What?

Sable: This spell makes chocolate!

Satan: *sighs in exasperation* You don't _need_ any more chocolate.

Sable: I can never _not_ need chocolate! Hacer coco ahorra!

Satan: *surrounded by white light* That wasn't proper English.

Sable: Oopsy.

Satan: What?

Sable: Umm… promise you wont be mad.

Satan: WHAT DID YOU DO?!

Sable: I made chocolate…or more like made you into chocolate.

Satan: WHAT?!

Sable: Don't worry. I'm sure I can find a way to fix this. *flipping pages* Hmm.

Satan: What now?

Sable: Well, apparently, I said the spell wrong and this wasn't supposed to happen. So there isn't a reverse to it.

Satan: What!

Sable: You say that a lot.

Satan: I DON'T CARE! FIX ME NOW!

Sable: All right. Geez. You're lucky I know magical people. *glances every so often at Satan*

Satan: What? *glances uneasily at the crazy chocophile beside him*

Sable: Well…you know you are Satan so you are really hot and melting.

Satan: What! I'm melting! *tries to see where he is melting*

Sable: Yeah. You are. I wouldn't want all of this good chocolate to go to waste so…*tries to jump on Satan*

Satan: *screams before running away*

Sable: We can't let you go to waste. *chases Satan*

Remus: What's going on here?

Mellow: I don't know.

Remus: *spots Satan* BLOODY HELL!

Mellow: What? *spots Satan* HOLY SHIT!

Remus and Mellow: *both look at each other before starting to chase Satan too*

Satan: WHAT THE HELL?! WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?!

Sable: They came from their mothers. Do I need to explain the birds and the bees to you? *she says this while still chasing him around*

Satan: How can you be such a smart ass while trying to eat someone?

Sable: It's a gift.

Suddenly Sable stops and freezes Remus and Mellow.

Sable: Wait a minute! Remus you are a wizard!

Remus: Yeah.

Sable: So you can just turn Satan back so he doesn't melt.

Satan: You were doing all of this so I wouldn't melt? *he stopped when everyone else did*

Sable: Yep! I was going to put you in the freezer! I couldn't let you die. Who was I going to annoy?

Satan: Oh Brother.

Sable: You have a brother?

Satan: Shut up. *turns to Remus* Okay. Find a way to turn me back.

Mellow/Remus: But we want chocolate!

Sable: *pulls large quantities of chocolate out of nowhere* I will give you this if you find a way to turn him back.

Remus/Mellow: Deal! *lots of arguing over science and magic*

Sable: This could take a while. Lets put you in the freezer so you don't melt! *drags Satan to the freezer*

* * *

3 hours later

* * *

Remus/Mellow: We have found a solution!

Sable: Really?

Remus: Yep. All it took was a little combination of science and magic and we have come up with a way to turn him back!

Sable: Okay! Lets see if this works! *runs off the fetch Satan*

Satan: YOU LEFT ME IN THE FREEZER FOR THREE HOURS!

Sable: Me sorry! Sable make it all better. *turns Satan back to what he normally looks like*

Remus/Mellow/Satan: HEY!

Satan: IF YOU COULD DO THAT, WHY DIDN'T YOU DO IT BEFORE?!

Sable: Didn't think of it. *skips off to read fanfictions*

Satan: I hate her.

Remus/Mellow: *nods*

Sable: Nobody loves me! *grabs knife*

Satan/Remus/Mellow: NO! *reach for knife*

Sable: What? *cuts up some chocolate*

Satan: You are going to be the death of me.

Remus/Mellow: *nods*

Sable: You are Satan. You can't die.

Satan: Whatever. *walks away from the insanity*

Sable: *shrugs and simply eats chocolate with Remus and Mellow*


	5. Sworn Off Chocolate

* * *

Sworn Off Chocolate

* * *

Sable: *munching on something*

Satan: *sigh* Didn't I tell you that you shouldn't eat so much chocolate?

Sable: This isn't chocolate. *holds up a carrot stick* I have sworn off chocolate. Those meetings actually helped.

-Nana and Yaoi pop up out of nowhere-

Nana: Seriously?

Sable: Yep.

Yaoi: _Seriously_?

Sable: Yeah.

Nana/Yaoi: _Seriously _Seriously?

Sable: YES! God! How many different ways must I say yes? Sí. Oui. Yea. Jep. Han Jee. Jaa. Yola.

Nana: All right already! Shut up!

Yaoi: That was weird.

Sable: I am weird.

Yaoi: Exactly!

Satan: That didn't make any sense.

Yaoi: Or did it? *looks around conspiratorially*

Satan: No. It didn't. *turns to Sable* What were you doing when I got in here anyway?

Sable: Munching on a carrot stick.

Nana/Yaoi: Duh.

Satan: *annoyed but trying not to show it* I meant other than that. I doubt you were just sitting there eating a carrot stick. *giving Sable 'the look'©*

Sable: I was just thinking. *refusing to look at 'the look'©*

Satan: What were you planning now?

Sable: Nothing. *still refusing to look at 'the look'©*

Satan: *looks at Nana and Yaoi only to get one glare and one bored look in return*

Satan: *turns back to Sable and stares*

Sable: *tries to ignore stares but is beginning to get annoyed*

-Inside Satan's Head: 5…4…3…2…1-

Sable: I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT THE CHARACTERS IN MOVIES! GOD!

-Inside Satan's Head: Bingo-

Satan: Then why did you try to hide it?

Sable: I'm me.

Satan: *sweat drop*

Sable: I was also planning on doing something but you would probably be mad…

Satan: If it's going to make me mad then don't do it.

Sable: Well…you see…

The other room: *crashes and loud noises* HOW THE FUCK DO YOU LOOK LIKE ME!

Sable: Hehe. I already did it. *smile*

*Group walks into other room*

Satan: WTF DID YOU DO?!

-Occupying said room was Edward from Twilight, Cedric from Harry Potter, Sweeney Todd, Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean, Will Turner from PotC, Legolus from Lord of the Rings, Severus Snape from Harry Potter, Judge Turpin from Sweeney Todd, Bellatrix Lestrange from Harry Potter, Mrs. Lovett from Sweeney Todd, Beadle Bamford from Sweeney Todd, and Peter Pettigrew from Harry Potter.

Sable: Oopsy. *sees Mrs. Lovett dead on the floor while Bellatrix stands over her with a superior smirk* I think I messed up.

Satan: You think!

Yaoi: Would that mean that technically Bellatrix just killed herself? *pondering this notion*

Sable/Nana: *pondering this notion as well*

Sable/Nana/Yaoi: *shrug*

Severus: CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON! *has his look alike held at wand point and Judge Turpin saw what Bellatrix did. He would prefer to live*

Sable: Well, you see. You are all movie characters. I brought you from each movie to see what you look like beside each other.

Nana: This would be a good time to figure out which character is better.

Yaoi: Which is better? *points to Will* Pirate sexiness? *points to Legolus* Or Elvin sexiness?

Nana/Sable: Elvin. *Will pouts while Jack laughs*

Sable: Mass murdering sexiness? *points to Sweeny* or Pirate sexiness? *points to Jack*

Yaoi/Nana: Pirate. *causes Jack to laugh even more*

Yaoi: Sexy Snape? *points to Severus* or Judge dude? *points to Judge Turpin*

Sable: SEVERUS! *glomps Severus*

Nana: Okay…moving on. The rat or the beadle?

Sable/Yaoi: Neither! *Sable still holding onto Severus and refusing let him go*

Yaoi: Wizard? *points to Cedric* or Vampire? *points to Edward*

Nana/Sable: Vampire! *Sable let go of Severus cuz he said he couldn't breath*

Satan: Shouldn't we do something about the dead body in the middle of the room? *points to Mrs. Lovett*

Sable: Okey dokey! *snaps fingers and Mrs. Lovett is back to life* That better?

Everyone but Sable/Nana/Yaoi/Satan: WHAT THE FUCK!

Sable: I brought her back to life.

Nana/Yaoi: Duh!

Satan: *sweat drop* That isn't exactly normal.

Sable: We aren't exactly normal.

Yaoi/Nana: OR NORMAL AT ALL! *look at each other* Jinx! Jinx! Jinx! Stop that! Erg!

Sable: *grabs popcorn and watches her friends argue*

Satan: Shouldn't you stop them?

Sable: Not until blood shed.

Satan: *rolls eyes* They may break something.

Sable: Fine. I'll stop them. *draws in a big breath* MELLOW/NEAR PORN!

Yaoi: Where?! *runs off to look for porn*

Nana: *blinks before shrugging and following*

Sable: Happy now?

Satan: If you're around? Never. *walks off*

Sable: *sobbing* Satan is a meany head! *points to Sweeney Todd* Go slit his throat.

Sweeney: *shrugs and walks after Satan*

Group: *whispering to each other before sending Severus over to Sable*

Severus: Sable?

Sable: Yes, Sevvy? *smiling sweetly*

Severus: *cringes at the nickname* Do you want me to be happy?

Sable: Of Course I want you to be happy! *looks mortified at the thought that he wouldn't be*

Severus: Well…it would make me really happy if we could all go back to our own world.

Sable: Don't you like me? *beginning to sob again*

Severus: *sensing danger* Of course I like you. I am just happiest when I am torturing Potter and the other Gryffindorks.

Sable: *smiling* Okey dokey! *snaps fingers and they all disappear*

Satan: *runs in while being chased by Sweeney* Help!

Sable: Say please! *watching while eating popcorn*

Satan: Please!

Sable: Okey dokey! *snaps fingers and Sweeney leaves*

Yaoi/Nana: *walk back in the room with a video camera that probably came out of Nana's ass* **1**

Sable: Where did you go?

Yaoi: To find Mellow/Near porn.

Sable: Find any?

Nana: Yep. *holds up disk*

Sable: *pops up a big screen t.v and DVD player*

Nana: *puts in the movie and presses play*

Satan: WTF!

Sable: It's yaoi porn. *unwrapping a chocolate bar* Duh.

Satan: You said you swore off chocolate!

Sable: I never said for how long.

Satan: *sighs and then looks at the movie before promptly passing out*

Sable/Nana/Yaoi: *look at Satan and then each other*

Yaoi: Can you pass the popcorn?

* * *

**1) inside joke among friends who i think are the only ones who read this anyway.**

**An: I sound even more insane than normal in this one. O well! I also cry alot.**

**Disclaimer: **

**Sable: I dont own Sweeney Todd, Harry Potter, Twilight, PotC or LotR.**

**Satan: Or Death Note.**

**Sable: That too. But i did just take my dad's credit card so i may own a gaara plushie soon. Yay!**


	6. Cute Little Heartless

* * *

Cute Little Heartless

* * *

Satan: *walks into the room and sees Sable walking around in the dark chanting in Latin*

Sable: veni tenebrae! *shadows swirling around*

Satan: Why did you just say 'come darkness' in Latin?

Sable: I am trying to summon a heartless.

Satan: *blink blink* Why?

Sable: Well…I was listening to Nana talk to her dudes and I decided that I wanted a heartless for myself!

Satan: And why were you listening to her talking to her dorks?

Sable: You shouldn't call Mighty Mouse a dork. Nana wouldn't like that.

Satan: You call him a dork all of the time and why should i care what she likes?

Sable: I am her friend and have certain immunity. She can torture you though.

Satan: *snort* I doubt that.

Sable: Okay. But don't say I didn't warn you.

Satan: Some little girl couldn't hurt me. Watch. ERIC IS THE WORLD'S BIGGEST DORK! See noth- Why are you hiding under that table?

Nana: *pops up and pummels Satan into the ground*

Sable: HI NANA!

Satan: ow…

Sable: I warned you. *pokes Satan in the forehead*

Nana: Why are the shadows going all weird?

Sable: I am summoning a heartless!

Nana: Wont that take someone's heart?

Sable: Yep!

Nana: And whose heart are you using?

Sable: Haven't decided yet.

Nana: Shouldn't you have decided before you summoned it?

Sable: Probably. But I couldn't decide if I would use Ryuuk or my old gym teacher.

Satan: Who's Ryuuk? Isn't he a Death God from Death Note?

Nana/Sable: *blink blink*

Satan: What?

Sable: How do you know that?

Satan: I have to do something while you are at school.

Nana: Wow. That is weird.

Sable: I was talking about Josh though.

Satan: Why do you call him Ryuuk?

Sable: He has an obsession with apples.

Nana: *looks at shadows* Umm…Sable?

Sable: Yes? *looks at Nana*

Nana: *staring at the shadows* I think the shadows are forming something.

Sable: Cool! *stares at shadows*

-shadows start to form a heartless-

Sable: I need to find a heart to give it! *pops out*

Nana: Wonder if she is going to kill Josh…Oh well. *goes back to watching heartless being formed*

Satan: You don't care if he dies?

Nana: Not at the moment. Maybe later.

Satan: Okay…

Sable: *pops in with heart in her hand* Found a heart! *throws it in the shadows and the heartless finishes forming*

Nana: Whose heart was that?

Sable: Random dude who nagged at me for landing on him.

Satan: You land on him and steal his heart for nagging at you about it?

Sable: Yep! *squeals after looking at the heartless* It's so cute! *cuddles heartless*

Satan: Only you would think a creature made from shadows is cute.

Sable: Hey!

Satan: What?

Sable: When did you get better?

Satan: I am Satan. Did you honestly think I would stay down for long?

Sable: Where did Nana go? *looking around*

Satan: How should I know? Do I look like her keeper?

Sable: *staring intently at him before shaking her head* Nope.

Satan: You actually had to stare at me to figure that out?

Sable: No. I just knew it would bug you.

Satan: That is ju- *flies across room after being hit with a semi-truck*

Nana: Now stay down!

Sable: Nice shot. *giving the heartless little leather pants and a blood red shirt*

Nana: Thanks. Are you going to give it little leather boots to match?

Sable: I don't think it would work with his feet. *stares at his feet*

Nana: Probably not. Well, I have to go find Eric. See ya!

Sable: Bye!

Nana: *pops away*

Satan: Is she gone?

Sable: Yep! *staring at the heartless*

Satan: THAT GIRL IS CRAZY! *zapped by lightning*

Sable: She can still hear you.

Satan: ow.

* * *

Disclaimer: I am not a millionaire so i dont own either Death Note or Kingdom Hearts. I did just get my shika and panda-kun plushies in the mail though! They are adorable!

Satan: Stop using this story to talk about your plushies. What is a plushie?

Sable: I am not explaining it to anyone else! I had to explain it to my dad, mom, grandma, and sister. No more!


	7. The Only Key

AN: This is dedicated to Yaoi and Skyz who gave me the idea and wrote part of it! They both even make a little appearance in it! YAY!

Disclaimer: Dont own nothing but some Gaara and Shika plushies! This means that I dont own Grand Theft Auto: Vice City except for my 2 copies of it. But Satan is my b*tch. YAY!

* * *

The Only Key

* * *

Sable: Satan?

Satan: What?

Sable: Where is the chocolate?

Satan: In the house.

Sable: Okay! *turns handle but it is locked* Hey! Who locked the door?!

Satan: I did.

Sable: WHY!

Satan: You need to stop eating so much chocolate. You have plenty of other houses to sleep in so go to one of them but this one is to stay locked up tight. *he nodded his head for emphasis*

Sable: *staring at him* What?

Satan: You heard me.

Sable: You honestly expect me to listen to you.

Satan: Yes.

Sable: And why would that be?

Satan: Because I have the only key to the house. *pulls out the key*

Sable: NO! Gimme! *reaches for key*

Satan: Not gonna happen. *swallows key* There! Now you can never get it!

Sable: *staring at Satan again* You are evil!

Satan: *gives Sable a WTF look* Well DUH! I am Satan!

Sable: I will get you back for this! Mark my words! *stalks off*

Satan: I would like to see you try!

Sable: I can't hear you!

Satan: Then how did you answer?

Sable: ARG!

Satan: *smirk*

* * *

Three Hours Later

* * *

Satan: Where is that blasted girl?! I figured she would be here begging for the key to get her chocolate back.

Sable: *pops up with a book in her hand* I have found the perfect way to get you back!

Satan: I am Satan. How are you going to find some way to get me back?

Sable: I am going to banish you somewhere. *flipping pages in her book*

Satan: I live in Hell. Where could you possibly send me?

Sable: You shall see. I will check on you in a week and see if you want to give me the key back. *starts chanting in Latin*

Satan: *starts to be a little worried when a portal pops up* Can't we talk about this? Its just chocolate.

Sable: Nope! BEGONE SATAN! *pushes Satan down but catches him before he falls in* No wait!

Satan: What!

Sable: My chocolate is in the house and you have the only key!

Satan: Is chocolate the only thing you ever think about?!

Sable: No…I had to think about the key.

Yaoi: *pops up* And the house.

Skyz: *pops up* And you.

Nana: *pops up* She also had to process the fact that you had the key to the house with the chocolate.

Sable: Hey guys! Want some chocolate?

Nana/Yaoi/Skyz: *shrug* Sure.

Sable: *pops away before returning with chocolate for everyone* Here you go.

Satan: Where did you get the chocolate?

Sable: I popped into the house and got it.

Satan: You could just pop into the house to get the chocolate but was going to throw me into a portal to get the key to the house?

Sable: *shrugs* It was the principle of the matter.

Satan: *stares at Sable* I hate you.

Sable: Love ya too!

Satan: *bangs head against side of the house* Where were you going to send me anyway?

Sable: A cheerleading camp.

-Everyone but Sable (who just continued to smile) shivered.

Satan: That is cruel and unusual punishment even for me.

Sable: Now you know not to mess with me. *looks at others* Word to the wise. Don't let me get a hold of ancient magic spell books. I find the most interesting things in them. Hehe. *trots off to do God knows what (even if he wished he didn't)*

Nana: She is nuts. *follows after her*

Yaoi/Skyz: *look at each other before shrugging and following the others*

Satan: I'm alone once again. Oh well. Guess I will go kill some people or something. *walks off to go play Grand Theft Auto: Vice City*

* * *

HOPED YOU LIKED IT!! I bet you thought Satan was going to kill real people didnt you. Nope. Just playing one of the best games in existence!


	8. DOWN WITH FLAMERS!

**

* * *

**

**DOWN WITH FLAMERS!**

* * *

Sable: WE MUST LOCK AND LOAD PEOPLE! *cocks guns*

Satan: I know I am going to regret this but…what are you doing?

Sable: Planning a war against all flamers!

Satan: Why?

Sable: hakari3456 asked me to.

Satan: So you automatically do it?

Sable: Cause mayhem, death and destruction? HELL YEAH! Plus flamers need to be taught a lesson about saying stupid shit! *fires gun randomly in the air*

Satan: I thought I was supposed to be the evil one?

Sable: No. You are supposed to be the sane one although I do plan to fix that in the near future.

Satan: And how do you plan to do that? *signature eyebrow raise*

Sable: Do you really want to know the answer to that? *starts shooting randomly before stopping suddenly and starts giggling*

Satan: What?

Sable: I wrote cocks. *giggling uncontrollably*

Satan: *mumbling not allowed to kill under his breath*

Sable: *putting gas in her flamethrower* I always wondered why you haven't killed me yet.

Satan: Everyone has a certain time to die and I am not allowed to kill anyone outside of that time. *mumbles unfortunately*

Sable: Oooooh…what about suicides?

Satan: …

Sable: *laughing* You don't know either.

Satan: Shut up. *pouting*

Nana: *blink blink* Satan pouts?

Sable: Apparently. When did you get here?

Nana: Few minutes ago. You didn't honestly think I would let you do this without me?

Sable: *shrugged* Figured you wouldn't since Eric wouldn't like it.

Nana: *smirks* What Eric doesn't know about, he can't stop.

Sable: That's the first law to know before marriage.

Nana: I thought it was to ignore a lot of what he says?

Sable: No. That's the first skill you have to master. Selective hearing.

Satan: I thought you were going to kill people?

Sable: I thought you didn't want me to?

Satan: Never said that. I just thought it was weird that you were actually doing something that someone asked you to.

Sable: I do stuff people _ask_ me to. I just don't do what someone _tells_ me to. Those are completely different things.

Satan: I think I may be going insane.

Nana/Sable/Yaoi: YAY!

Nana: When did you get here?

Yaoi: I have been here.

Nana: No, you haven't.

Yaoi: Yes, I have.

Nana: No, you haven't.

Yaoi: Yes, I have.

Nana: No, you haven't.

Yaoi: Yes, I have.

Nana: No, you haven't.

Yaoi: Yes, I have.

Sable: Magical flying monkeys!

Nana/Yaoi: *blink* What?

Sable: We need some magical flying monkeys. Duh!

Nana: *looks at Yaoi* What were we arguing about?

Yaoi: Don't remember. *shrugs*

Nana: *shrugs*

Satan: *whispers* Great job stopping their arguing.

Sable: They were arguing? *really confused face*

Satan: *smacks head against wall*

Sable: *blinks at Satan before shrugging* Okay people! We are now starting the war! *sets the couch on fire*

Nana: Your mother is going to kill you for that.

Sable: Not until later!

* * *

**Five hours later**

* * *

Sable: That was fun!

Satan: *reading a magazine on the couch* You kill some flamers?

Sable: Yep! Then we used their bodies as kindling for the fires to make smores! Must remember to send one to hakari.

Nana: Well, I got to go talk to Eric. See ya!

Sable: Bring him a smores!

Nana: K. K. *pops out*

Satan: You know something annoying. I am Satan and yet I can't do that.

Sable: *completely not listening* Where is Yaoi?

Satan: I don't want to know.

Sable: I hope she didn't find my secret supply of gay porn.

Yaoi: *pops in from somewhere* YOU HAVE A SECRET SUPPLY OF GAY PORN?!

Sable: No. I just knew that would make you come out.

Yaoi: You're mean! *pouting*

Sable: Aww! Do you want to watch my Sirius/Remus videos?

Yaoi: I thought you just said you didn't have a secret supply of gay porn?

Sable: I don't.

Yaoi: Then what about the videos?

Sable: If they were secret you wouldn't know about them, would you? *walks out of the room*

Yaoi: Touché. *follows*

Satan: *bleeding and unconscious on the floor from hitting his head against the wall during the crazy chicks' conversation*

* * *

hakari3456 suggested i write one about flaming flamers so here it is! hope you like it! this is the first time i have updated in like a long time! O.O i promised i wouldnt give up on this until chap 50 but i dont have that much of an attention span apparently. i was actually told that by my neurologist today. weird. well, hoped you like it especially hakari3456!


	9. One Reason to listen to your parents

**One Reason to listen to your parents (even if what they say sounds insane)**

* * *

Sable: *counting a big pile of change in the floor with the lights off*

Satan: What are you doing?

Sable: Counting my change.

Satan: Why are you doing it in the dark?

Sable: I have been told that I can't turn on the overhead lights or a penguin will die.

Satan: That is completely retarded. I would know if turning on the overhead lights kill penguins. *flips lightswitch*

Yaoi: WHAT THE HELL IS KILLING ALL MY PENGUINS?

Sable: What are you talking about?

Yaoi: The penguins for my penguin army are dying. They just drop like flies at random moments.

Sable: * turns to Satan and smiles*

Satan: Don't say a word.

Sable: *turns to Yaoi* Satan did it!

Yaoi: *turns to Satan and glares*

Satan: *runs*

Yaoi: *chases Satan with a machete*

Sable: Well, I deserve some chocolate! *pulls a chocolate bar out of nowhere*

Remus/Mello: Chocolate?

Sable: MY CHOCOLATE! *runs off with chocolate*

Remus/Mello: CHOCOLATE! *chases Sable*

Satan: *runs by Sable* What are you running for?

Sable: *runs while chewing on chocolate bar* Remus and Mello want my chocolate.

Satan: *stops* Don't you have a huge stash of chocolate?

Sable: *running past* Don't you have a crazy chick with a machete trying to kill you?

Satan: *stares behind him to see Yaoi gaining fast* Oh shit! *starts running again*

Sable: *stops* Wait. *stares before pulling out a book and chanting*

*Sirius and Near pop out of nowhere*

Sable: Hi ya!

Sirius: What the hell?

Sable: *grabs them both and throws them at Remus and Mello* Stop your lovers!

Near: Mello, are you causing problems again?

Mello: Umm….No?

Near: *raises eyebrow* Let's go. *walks off*

Mello: *looks at his feet as he follows Near*

Sable: *opens a portal for them to go home* So you going home, too? *looking at Remus and Sirius before her eyes went wide*

Remus and Sirius: *seriously making out and missing their shirts while it looks like their pants will soon follow*

Sable: *drool* YAOI! STOP TRYING TO KILL SATAN AND GET OVER HERE!

Yaoi: What?

Sable: *points*

Yaoi: *stares before pulling out a camera* Porn.

Sable: *pulls out popcorn* Yep.

Satan: Is this legal?

Sable/Yaoi: SHUT UP AND ENJOY THE PORN!

Satan: O.O *slowly inches away from the yaoi freaks* I'm going to go kill some people or something. *takes off running*

Sable/Yaoi: *ignore him and continue to watch porn being made right in front of them*

* * *

This is a lesson to all. If your dad ever tells you that turning on the overhead light will kill a penguin, don't turn on the overhead light. Also if you are ever being chases by a crazed teenaged fangirl, show real live porn. Hentai or yaoi depending on the fangirl. ^.^


	10. Mean People

Greetings to the fine folk that moderate our site.

Myself, along with many, have been writing and posting on your fine site for years now, some of the better examples of up and coming writers out there are now suddenly finding some of the stories we've come to love at risk of being removed without the chance to even rectify our errors.

For some, that means the permanent loss of a story. While I don't have anything that I believe violates your terms of use, there are those out there that are never able to recover a story in its original form, this is something I find to be almost worthy of a legal action, as while we cannot claim ownership of a character, the stories are OURS and simply destroying them is something that is inexcusable.

It's quite easy to simply add an MA rating, additional filters or even a simple requirement for a free membership to read the stories presented here, and would cut down on hateful anonymous reviews and posts at the same time, so I have to question as to why such a thing, in all this time, simply wasn't added.

If you're worried about falsification of a registration then have an appropriate disclaimer and then there can be no dispute, you took your steps and the PARENTS didn't monitor their children, if that is even your concern. If it is more of a personal view or desire then please at least let people know and give them a chance to remove a story that you and yours find offensive, most people on the site are actually rather cordial when it comes to such requests.

While I cannot say for sure if this letter will even reach those that may be willing to listen, of if it's more akin to a wide spectrum purge in preparation for something bigger, please understand that you are going to be looseing a LARGE number of your writers, and thus your income from a lack of readers if there is not some level of action taken to help with this situation.

For those that may agree with this, please feel free to sign on and send this to the support server, maybe we can get some movement on this.

Psudocode_Samurai

Rocketman1728

dracohalo117

VFSNAKE

Agato the Venom Host

Jay Frost

SamCrow

Blood Brandy

Dusk666

Hisea Ori

The Dark Graven

BlackRevenant

Lord Orion Salazar Black

Sakusha Saelbu

Horocrux

socras01

Kumo no Makoto

Biskoff

Korraganitar the NightShadow

NightInk

Lazruth

ragnrock kyuubi

SpiritWriterXXX

Ace6151

FleeingReality

Harufu

Exiled crow

Slifer1988

Dee Laynter

Angeldoctor

Final Black Getsuga

ZamielRaizunto

Fenris187

blood enraged

arashiXnoXkami

Masane Amaha's King

Blueexorist

Nero Angelo Sparda

Sharkteeth

DAPC

Kyuubi16

bunji the wolf

EternalKnight219

Wolvenstrom

donalgraeme

Dementra

Sabaku no Sable

If you could do what some other authors have done and post this petition as a temporary new chapter on some of your stories to help spread the word? It would help a lot it's how I found out about this.


End file.
